I was 17. I had just moved back to the USA after living three years in Venezuela. It was summer time. My parents and I went to visit my brother and his family in a city I had never visited before. My brother was a football player for the college in the area and he decided to help me have some fun by setting me up on a blind date with his coach's son. I had never been on a blind date before. It sounded fun.
I am not a shy person so it wasn't too awful for me to meet Touchdown (fake name) and go on a blind date. I just assumed it would be a night at the movies. It was a night at the movies. Later I would feel like I was IN a movie with hidden cameras waiting for my reaction.
Touchdown had a really nice car. I don't know what kind because I don't care about cars. But it was good that he had a nice car because I spent a lot of time alone in it. We went to see "Independence Day" with Will Smith. It's an action movie with aliens attacking the Earth. While we are standing in line we made small talk and I find out Touchdown just graduated from High school.
Then he asks me "So what would you do if you had a full ride scholarship to Louisiana for football but your girlfriend begs you not to go so you stay and then a few weeks later she dumps you for another guy?"
Me: "Hmmm. I'm guessing your talking from experience. I would have to say do your best to get over it and move on."
He kept talking and I started getting little clues that he was not going to be a very fun date. Later during the movie he looked over at me and asked "Do you kiss on the first date?" If the truth be told, yes, I have kissed on the first date. But I wasn't about to tell Touchdown this. So I said "I'm watching the movie I can't talk right now." Lame answer. How about "No. I don't."
So after the movie we go get ice cream and again he asks me "Do you kiss on the first date?" UGH! I wish I would have just lied but I said "Not usually. What's your ex-girlfriends name?" That was one subject he was more than willing to dive into. He started talking about her new flame. He was a returned missionary and I remember at one point he said "I wonder if he's at her house right now? I should drive by her house and see if he's there."
"That's a great idea." I said sarcastically. He did not note the sarcasm and we were immediately off to her house. I wanted to go home but I thought it wouldn't take long. I told him to just drive by and see if his car was there. If it wasn't, good. If it was, just keep driving. He agreed. But as we drove by her house he saw that the new flame's truck was indeed there and he pulled into the driveway and said "I will just be a second." I was telling him it was a bad idea as he closed the door in my face.
It was a nice car and he did leave it running with the radio on. So thoughtful right? I watched him walk up the long driveway to her front door. Her mother answered and left him on the porch while she went to get her daughter. When she finally came out she had wet hair and a robe on. Later I found out she had been swimming with this new boyfriend. Touchdown immediately went crazy and started yelling at her. She tried to walk past him to go inside but he pushed her back and flipped her off right up in her face and called her a B*#@*. Then she really pushed her way through him and went inside. Touchdown started walking back to the car with a big scowl on his face. I was shocked and didn't know what to do. I had no idea where I was or how to get home. I didn't even know my brother's phone number to call him to come get me. This was before cell phones. So I just sat there watching him approach the car. Suddenly the girl's father came running out the door at Touchdown. He did not look happy. My date did not act like he heard him coming but instead of coming to the car he walked to the side of this big camper and out of my view. I knew the Dad had caught up to him, and I knew he was mad, and I knew I was alone in the car listening to music really missing Venezuela. I should have gotten out of the car and asked to use their home phone. But I didn't. I sat there for a very long, long, long time. Then the Dad went walking back inside. I should have run after him. But I didn't. I sat there for a long, long time. Finally Touchdown opens the door to get in. It was very awkward. I didn't know what to say or do. As he starts pulling away he said "That didn't go very well." I don't remember saying anything. He told me about how they had been swimming together and what a lame guy that return missionary was and how she was so lame for not seeing that. On and On. I was silent. Probably the climax of his monologue was when he said "We dated for three months. THREE MONTHS! I went up her shirt! When he said this he held his arm out with his hand in perfect cupping shape right in front of my face. He held it there for a few moments while he thought about the incident. Dead silence in the car. I can still see "the claw" (that's what I like to call it now) in front of my face and I was hoping he would put it down on his side of the car. Should I try to "high five" that "claw"? Are there hidden cameras waiting for my reaction right now? But before I could say or do anything Touchdown blurts out "I'm not going to kiss you." More silence. Then he quickly continued "Unless you want me to. I know how. There are these red cliffs that people drive up to and make out." Silence. I was thinking should I jump out of the car and just hope to find my way home. Should I laugh? Should I scream? He broke the silence again "No. We can't. Your brother would kill me." I find my voice and say "Yes. He would."
Touchdown: "But how would he ever find out? Look the cliffs are right up there. It wouldn't take long."
Me: "Well I told my parents I would be home soon so let's go ask them if I can stay out later and if they say yes, then, yes, we will go up there and make out."
He was fine with the plan and so he took me to my brothers house. I walked very fast to get inside before him. My parents and my brother were sitting in the front room but I walked straight past them and into the kitchen out of sight. Before they could follow me Tyson walked in and started talking to them. They talked about football and college and on and on. Finally my sister -in-law came into the kitchen and said Touchdown was waiting for me to come back out. I let her know there was no way I was going back out there. She was really good to me and went back to tell him that I was done for the night. He must have been shocked. I heard him leave. Then I could finally relax a little. I told my family the story and I could hardly believe it myself as I told it. I still can hardly believe it. It was an awful date. Cell phones are a really good invention.
